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Where are you, God?

Updated: Sep 29, 2020

By: Tim Eger

The first thought that came to mind when I heard my son’s diagnosis was, "why God, why?" I couldn't understand why God would allow this to happen. As much as I was fearful, I asked God, "why my son . . . why my family?"

Sadly, this might be the first thought that comes to your mind when you are faced with a life change of this magnitude. It's not uncommon that we question God at this point as we wrestle with faith and morality. As a father of a son with cancer, I found it very difficult balancing being human and understanding my role as the father figure of the family. I wanted so much to tell everyone that everything was going to be okay, to be there in their moments of weakness and misunderstanding, however on the inside I continued to wrestle with fear. I feared that I might lose my youngest son.

I remember a dream where I was holding up the walls of my house only to see the roof crumble around me. I felt like I had failed my family and that I just couldn’t keep things together. It was in that moment of weakness that I realized; something evil was trying to hold me down and make me feel like a failure. It was also in that moment that I realized; God was with me and he is with you. It was important for me to understand that everything is in God’s hands, and that there is truly no sense in worrying or fearing for what might happen because God already has already laid out his plan. God asks for us to cast our cares on him because he doesn’t want you to worry or fear. He wants you to be a spiritual leader in your household, especially during difficult times.

The unknown is scary, that’s for sure, but the certainty in your situation is that God knows exactly what you and your family is going through. God knows the reason it has happened and how it's going to end. He understands that we fear for our loved ones, that we care and are concerned, just like he is for you.

Isaiah 43:1 says: “Don't fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine.

Fun fact: did you know that the phrase “fear not” is used at least 80 times in the Bible. These aren't just great words to live by, but God actually commands us not to fear or worry. It’s true that God knows that the enemy uses fear to strip our hopes down and minimize our victories.

As a dad with a son battling brain cancer, I've chosen to not allow fear to defeat me but to celebrate every milestone, every doctor visit, to be encouraged when dealing with tough times and to be a voice to others that wrestle with those same words, "why God, why?"

Fear not, because we are all with you.

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